Serious Doubts

This is the first time in my life that I have had serious doubts on what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I was sitting behind that camera and I felt like I was home. It was me. I don't know if it was the training or the love of the work. I am struggling in all of my classes and English is my easiest subject. I feel so far behind it isn't funny. I'm stressed out and tiered. I'm not happy I don't know if I should continue on my path or do something else

I'm don't feel inspired for physics. It is so hard and I'm not putting in the effort I need to. My grades are proof of that.
I think I'm doing it, because it is unattainable. I made a split second decision in the fourth grade to be a astronaut. This statement was recorded on audio tape and I almost feel obligated to fulfill it. I feel my word is important and if I say I will do something, I do it. This has it's draw backs, because I some times deeply regret my conformations.